New tumblr blog

I made another tumblr blog just for random pictures I have taken with my camera~ ^^  I still have my main tumblr which is http://www.forever-a-fantasy.tumblr.com/
my new one  is http://www.fallingfantasy143.tumblr.com/
it would be really great if you could follow them both :) <3

Sleep!

its 4am and i still cant sleep.. why cant i sleep properly lately >< i feel soo wide awake

vampire skull :p

I changed abit of it but cbf finishing it :p im just gonna leave it like this~

Vampire skull

Its not yet complete but slowly getting there xP

Childhood

I was just thinking of this time when I was little and I watched a movie that had faeries in it and it said that the movie was based on a true story.. So after that whenever I left the house I would always look around to try spot them haha but then after a while I came to a realization that faeries arent real and that the story of the movie was based on a true story.. Not the faeries in it -.-
I miss the times when I believed in magical things like that :(

Yaay!

Yaay im soo excited for tomorrow since I have my final exam and then im free!! I can finally get back to drawing and reading all day :) and hanging out with my friends ofcourse ^^ <3

...

So I thought it was going to get better... I really did. I thought I was finally getting away from all this hatred towards myself. But no, it just keeps getting worse and the feeling gets stronger everyday until the limit has been reached. Which it already has. I wish I didn't feel like this all the time... I wish I could take a break. Atleast just ONE single day with no feelings at all would be soo much better than this. I wish I could just change that thing I hate the most about myself.. If I could, I know things wouldn't be the way they are now..
It's not easy fighting the urges to do that thing that I have been craving to do for a long time, that thing I haven't done in a while.. But I cant break. I must try hard and not do it, even though the sensation is incredible.. I dont want my family or people around me to notice it. I dont have anymore lies or answers to the questions I get asked when they see what I have done.
Im soo pathetic.
No one can change the way I feel.
Soo much hatred. Soo many fucked up thoughts.

:/

I know its not love but it sure does feel like it. I wanna know what youre thinking everytime we talk and have our weird but funny convos

Nooo! :(

Nooooooooo you deleted your tumblr!! D: Whyyyy???? :'< T.T how am i gonna stalk you now? Lol jks but seriously... I feel like that was the only way i could kinda communicate with you and it felt really good when you reblog some of my pics hehe ^^ im soo weird but its true :o rawr how did i get soo attached to someone i dont even know =.= whats wrong with me? :(

Random

Wow wth it even got to the point where I had to Google how to be happy/cheer up -.-
I hate being like this all the time :/ I wish I was more positive towards life..
Death doesn't scare me, only what might happen after does. Seriously I wanna know what happens >< is there a Heaven or Hell? Or do you just roam around this world as ghost? :p lol I'm so curious.. I don't know what I believe in

Don't trust anyone!

No matter how nice someone may seem, they will screw you over in the end. I think I have learnt my lesson more than enough times :)

Love and hate

Is it weird to love and hate something at the same time? O.o I hate sharks and im terrified of them, yet I actually really like them and think they are beautiful LOL im so weird :p

People

I think I finally understand why some people do what they do.. Like rebel or drink or take drugs :p

Will it ever get better?

It seems as though when something good happens it goes away just as fast as it came.. And when you're happy it disappears after a short time. Hmm saw my friend looking soo depressed today in class and it made me really sad because she doesn't deserve it at all :( she is one of the nicest people I know and will do anything for anything for anyone :| Wish I could cheer her up.. Idk what to do because I know exactly how she feels yet I dont even know what to do or say to her.. I really really hope she feels better and happier soon.. I think she just needs someone to listen to her but she is scared of getting judged.. Anyway I hope she will trust me enough to tell me whats wrong since she hasn't even told anyone about what is wrong :/

Feeling guilty~

:/ I wish I didnt feel soo guilty about things.. I wanna be able to do what I want without feeling like im a bad person xP

I Love my friends ♥

Thank you soo much to all my friends for always being there for me and for those who gave me a gift ♥♥♥ I Love you All!♥

I complain too much :p

Haha sorry to anyone that has to put up with my complaining and to anyone that reads my posts and realises its all about me complaining about things in life :o I sincerely apologise but posting my problems is the only way I can deal with them.. Sorry to everyone

I hate birthdays

Happy birthday to me -.- just another boring day of the year. I bet nobody remembers anyway but thats fine :)  have a nice day or night everyone~

One of the things I hate the most about me

The thing I hate the most about myself is that I fall for people too easily. Sometimes I don't even want to fall for anyone but my stupid heart ignores my brain and does it anyway >.> I try so hard to ignore those feelings but I can't >.< the only way to stop loving someone is lose all contact with them, thats the difficult part.. But it works! Until you start talking to that person or you see them again. Then your heart starts racing once again :/
hmm I guess thats part of being a human being

I want to get to know you :o

Dear, guy who my friend knows and linked me your tumblr

Ok so I don't exactly know you, I haven't met you, I haven't even seen you in real life or spoken to you even once, I follow your tumblr though and thats what made me notice you.. The only thing I actually know about you is that you go to my friends school and that she knows you.  (im not a stalker) 
For some reason i get the feeling that you're a nice guy.. Abit horny and sorta rebellious lol but still nice.. I don't know why I think this since I have never spoken to you or anything.. Except that I follow your tumblr. I just get this weird vibe (lol.sounds weird) you make me curious.. You're pretty cute too hehe :") I could be wrong though.. Who knows.. You could be a complete jerk.
But when I saw some hateful comments from some anons on your tumblr, it actually made me quite sad :/ weird right?? And seeing that a stupid motherfucker wrote that they hope you are depressed. And asking why you even exist. That just made me really angry.. I want to know who you really are.. I think you might be lonely.. I wish I was your friend.. I want to be there for you so you don't feel alone. And I want to listen to your problems and try help out. I think you and me may be alike.. But I don't exactly know you so I can't tell.
I want to know if you are just a nice yet lonely guy or an asshole.
Oh well.. I just hope you aren't depressed and that you smile heaps and I hope that you are happy~ xoxo

From: the girl you will likely never know

I know you will never read this but thats ok :)

Take me away~

Take me away to a peaceful place.. Where there is no drama, no sadness just beautiful mountains and trees all around and a little lake .. Where I can lay outside on the green grass with the man of my dreams and watch the stars at night, without them being hidden by the overpowering city lights.. Where the moon is reflected on the calm water of the lake.. And we can watch the sunset from the top of a hill♥

Same mistakes.. Stupid feelings

Why do I keep repeating the same mistakes? I told myself I wouldn't ever repeat those same mistakes.. Yet here I am doing exactly that. Even though I know I'm doing it, its soo damn hard to stop T.T I thought I could control my actions and feelings towards you but when you talk to me its like I can't even keep a promise to myself.. I really wish I could keep that promise I made to myself... I know how its going to end up if I keep continuing to make those mistakes.. Why do I care about you soo much even though I know you couldn't care less about me. You probably don't realise what you're doing to me but you're  fucking me up mentally and emotionally.. I hate having feelings :/ you can only hold them back for so long. Sigh I hate this. I really can't deal with it for much longer.. Its not a game anymore. I thought it wouldn't turn out like this :| I was wrong.

My top 3 favourite UK tv series (not in order)

1. Skins

I really like this show as it is about teenage life and some of the struggles they face like the loss of a loved one, depression and soo much more. The drama in this is really interesting and addicting to watch. I could relate to some of it in a way but yeah I cant get enough of it!! sadly I have to wait till 2013 to watch the next season :(  Throughout the series there are 3 generations with different characters. This show mainly consists of drug and alcohol use, smoking, partying, struggles, difficult relationships, gays/lesbians/straights, physical and mental health and sex lol  if you are into shows that have a lot of drama going on, hardships and some hot guys then this is for you ;)

Favourite characters from all the generations:
Maxxie! because he is sooooooo cute and extremely good looking! he is also a really good guy. I love him :3 and Chris because I really liked his character and he was soo nice. Cassie because she was soo awesome and a nice girl but then I sort of started to like her less as the series went on and she changed. Effy!!! because she is just amazing.. she is really beautiful and I love her character! she is a strong girl that is weak inside and struggles with her mental health and depression, she is my favourite girl out of all the generations. Freddie and Cook, they are really awesome! Rich, because he is soo nice to Grace and soo cute. Grace because she is just soo lovely and caring and Alex because he is really good looking and an amazing and caring friend :) these are my favourite characters from skins UK

2.Misfits

Ok let me be honest, the first time I heard about this show I thought it was going to be some sort of boring, fake super natural/super power series as usually for me I find these shows with people that have super powers to be seriously lame.. but I was wrong!!! ever since I decided to watch an episode of misfits on tv I was automatically hooked! I love everything about it! seriously you must watch it its awesome :)




Favourite Characters from Misfits:
Nathan because he is really funny and always jokes around and doesn't take anything seriously and Simon because even though he is an awkward guy and doesnt really socialize much he is still really nice and cool!



3. The Inbetweeners

This series made me laugh soo much at times! I found it really really interesting and funny. I ended up watching all the seasons plus the movie in 2 days :O I couldnt stop watching it, it is really cool! I recommend it to everyone :) there is not much I can really say about this other than its totally awesome and funny!

Favourite characters from The Inbetweeners:
I honestly love them all!! they all make me laugh and are different from one another so I cant decide because they are all cool :)

★Wanderlust★

I wish I could just get away from here just for a little while at least.. I feel like I need a break from this boring place :/ There are countries that I'm dying to see.. People I'm dying to meet.. Things I'm dying to try..There is a whole world out there full of wonderful places with beautiful sights and different things to do~ Yet I'm stuck here.. >.> when will I get the chance to live my life the way I want to live it and do the things I want to do without facing the consequences of missing out on school or not having enough money..
I'm sure many people feel like this at times :o Haha
oh why must life be so difficult? :p

"Money doesn't buy happiness" and life/love

Ok so money doesn't buy happiness.. But it sure as hell does buy everything else that leads to happiness or that can make you happy? Maybe.. I personally believe that this saying is mostly aimed at people who have a loving family or who have someone special in their lives that loves them and cares about them.. But think about some of the people in the world.. Who maybe don't have a loving family or anyone that they feel who actually cares about them.. For example a teenage girl that is always hiding in her room away from the rest of the world and feeling like she is alone and that no one will ever love her or care about her deeply like the way you see the relationships between couples or partners in movies.. her parents maybe don't pay much attention to her and don't support her..  that girl will start to feel depressed and maybe all she needs is something to do to take her mind off everything that is going on around her.. Or possibly she feels like she would have a better life/more happier life if she moved away to a different place and started fresh.. A peaceful place with no drama or hatred around.. But you need money for that. Right? So what exactly does buy happiness?
I believe that love and friendship is the most important thing in life because if you don't have either of those, you start to lose faith in life I guess..start to believe there is no meaning or point to life? Everybody needs at least one person that truly cares about them.. And not just acts like they care or feels like they need to care about you.. But someone that wants to care and Love you.. Nobody wants to feel alone, unwanted or hopeless..
There always will be someone for everyone.. You just need to wait.
I bet more than half of what I wrote probably doesn't make sense or seems really stupid :o