...

So I thought it was going to get better... I really did. I thought I was finally getting away from all this hatred towards myself. But no, it just keeps getting worse and the feeling gets stronger everyday until the limit has been reached. Which it already has. I wish I didn't feel like this all the time... I wish I could take a break. Atleast just ONE single day with no feelings at all would be soo much better than this. I wish I could just change that thing I hate the most about myself.. If I could, I know things wouldn't be the way they are now..
It's not easy fighting the urges to do that thing that I have been craving to do for a long time, that thing I haven't done in a while.. But I cant break. I must try hard and not do it, even though the sensation is incredible.. I dont want my family or people around me to notice it. I dont have anymore lies or answers to the questions I get asked when they see what I have done.
Im soo pathetic.
No one can change the way I feel.
Soo much hatred. Soo many fucked up thoughts.